Favorite Posts

  • A Bench and a Three Stripes Shoes
    Posted at Park Bench Society - “and by the way, I’m Shai…Shai Bastara” I introduce myself. “Merci, I’m Patna Jane” she said as she took the coffee and shakes my hand. “Cool initial…PJ. Can I call you PJ ?” I said grinning. “PJ it is…and you’re Shai, right ?” she grins back at me. “Sometimes in some situation but right now I’m not shy with you” I winked as I sip my coffee...
  • A Cup of Coffee and Sex, Please ?
    Posted at Park Bench Society - Interesting as it is about the history and heritage of coffee I do wonder now if the term “let’s go have coffee” should have a sexual implication attached to it?...
  • A Love Letter
    Posted at Park Bench Society / original post titled Surat Cinta - “You will receive the most beautifully written letter that you ever read” That is what you told me when you said good bye. I was not really listening to you...
  • Elang dan Anjing
    Posted at Park Bench Society - Berdebar jantungku begitu melihat ikon kuning muncul di sebelah kanan bawah layar monitor ku untuk kemudian hilang kembali ke balik taskbar. Sebuah ikon kecil yang menandakan kehadiran satu sosok virtual. Gokil, 5 tahun dan setiap kali ikon itu muncul masih berdebar seperti ini. Dahsyat !...
  • Mutiara Hitam
    Posted at Park Bench Society - Dia masih dalam pelukanku ketika suara motor meraung perlahan berganti menjadi …… bunyi lonceng gereja di salah satu sudut Kota Tua (Old City) di Yerusalem. Suara lonceng itu mengiringi langkah seorang pendeta muda dengan jubah hitam panjang yang berjalan cepat kearah Via Dolorosa...
  • Putri Duta Besar
    Hidungku mencium aroma jeruk nipis yang telah disemprot kedalam rumah oyster itu dan tatapan mataku berpindah-pindah secara bergantian dari rumah kerang ke cincin batu alam Aquatis besar berwarna ungu yang melingkar di jari tengahnya dan terakit dalam cincin dengan ukiran perak Bali yang indah...
  • Silent Graffiti
    Posted at Park Bench Society - Who does ?.. It's the fucking author.. Where's that bottle of ink ?.. Let me pour it all into a bowl.. Full of alphabet cereal.. And I'll take it.. As my fucking breakfast...
  • The Birth of Park Bench Society
    Posted at Park Bench Society at Blogspot - In the mean time, a few tables from us there is a good looking woman in red turtleneck sweater sitting by herself with a cup of something in front of her. She seems to use the Starbucks' chair as her own private bench...
  • The Re-Make of Pillow Talk
    Posted at Park Bench Society - SCENE 1 (A view from a window. Wet roof in a rainy afternoon. Drops of water falling from the edge of the roof into a man-made pond below. Koi fishes swim beneath the surface...)
  • Tragedi Cumi Hitam
    Posted at Park Bench Society - "Ya yang waras ngalah lah" ucapnya sambil mengaduk - aduk garpunya kedalam sepiring gado-gado. Sementara itu jari tangannya satu lagi menari-nari diatas touch pad di Power Book Mac G4 nya untuk memamerkan layout print ad yang baru dibuatnya ke teman disebelahnya...

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Putri Duta Besar (Bag 1)

PutriAku mengintip kedalam lewat kaca pintu kayu itu dari luar, setengah basah karena gerimis hujan yang tiba-tiba saja turun beberapa saat yang lalu. Dari antara tempelan berbagai macam kartu kredit dan tanda "OPEN" yang tergantung di pintu kaca itu aku melihat dia sudah duduk di meja pojok dengan laptop terbuka dan gelas bir yang masih setengah penuh.

"Tumben udah dateng duluan" ujarku dalam hati dan kubuka pintu kayu tua itu dengan menarik setengah paksa serta masuk kedalam membawa udara dingin bulan November dari luar bersama ku. Aku berjalan melewati meja-meja yang sudah penuh terisi oleh pelanggan resto & bar ini yang sebagian besar adalah orang-orang yang itu-itu juga sambil menyapa beberapa dari mereka. Sapaan ku lebih merupakan ekspresi sopan santun karena sebetulnya aku lebih kenal wajah mereka daripada nama. Mereka membalas menyapa tanpa menyebut namaku . Aku yakin merekapun hanya mengenal sosok ku yang sering terlihat duduk di meja pojok itu atau di meja bar yang terbuat dari kayu eboni yang permukaannya sudah sangat mengkilap dari gosokan lap bartender selama bertahun-tahun.

Barangkali hanya orang-orang tertentu saja yang kebanyakan dikenal dengan nama oleh para pengunjung tempat ini yaitu para pelayan dan bartender yang sebagian besar menjadi pekerja paruh waktu dan terdiri dari pelajar sebuah universitas yang terletak tidak jauh dari tempat ini. Diluar mereka aku rasa mayoritas pelanggan tempat ini terdiri dari wajah-wajah "familiar" tanpa nama. Sambil terus bergerak menuju meja pojok untuk menemui temanku itu aku berpikir mungkin itu sebabnya aku menyukai tempat ini karena merasa dapat menjadi "invisible" namun pada saat yang sama masih merasa "dirumah" dengan teguran ramah dari para pekerja paruh waktu itu. "Kamu sangat tidak menarik kalo sedang seperti itu" pernah seorang teman bilang itu kepadaku mengenai ketrampilan sekaligus hobi ku untuk menjadi "invisible". Tapi tempat ini serasa menawarkan secara alami suasana untuk bisa menjaga jarak atau menghilang tanpa merasa seperti terpaksa harus melangkah keluar dari lingkaran realita sekitar untuk mengamati kehidupan nyata dari luar kedalam.

Mendekati daerah bar ruang gerak ku semakin sempit dan dengan sedikit susah payah aku ber navigasi sambil menenteng tas ransel laptop ku melewati orang-orang yang berdiri di sepanjang bar eboni itu sambil memegang gelas minuman yang kebanyakan bir hitam sesuai dengan karateristik tempat ini sebagai sebuah Irish Bar. Mendekati ujung meja bar aku tiba-tiba berhadapan dengan sebuah tangan halus yang menyodorkan kerang oyster tepat didepan hidungku. "Hey stranger...mau ngga?" menyusul suara halus si pemilik tangan yang wajahnya belum terlihat saat itu. Hidungku mencium aroma jeruk nipis yang telah disemprot kedalam rumah oyster itu dan tatapan mataku berpindah-pindah secara bergantian dari rumah kerang ke cincin batu alam Aquatis besar berwarna ungu yang melingkar di jari tengahnya dan terakit dalam cincin dengan ukiran perak Bali yang indah.....(bersambung).

Image - Cover Design South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami

State of Mind

Is my...
Situation difficult and am I trying to persist in my objectives against resistance. Do I find it necessary to conceal my intentions as an added precaution, in order to disarm the opposition ? (it does feel kindda difficult...but disarm the opposition?...that sounds soooo sneaky)

Could this be my source of stress?...
Suppresing my innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that I might be carried away by it only to find myself pursuing some will-o'-the-wisp (ini apa ya artinya?). Do I feel misled and abused and has withdrawn to hold myself cautiously aloof from others. Keeps a careful and critical watch to see whether motives towards me are sincere--a watchfulness which easily develops into suspicion and distrust. (Now I know why someone said once that I sometime act 'invisible')

Do I restrain myself because...
Circumstances are forcing me to compromise, to restrain my demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things I want and forcing me to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time being ? (compromising is my middle name and fuck...it hasn't been easy !)

I know that this is what I desire...
A conflict-free haven offering security and physical case and is in need of considerate treatment and loving care. I fears the emptiness and solitude of separation.....(tapi kalo harus sendiri, then be it....been there, done that)

My actual problem...
Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of my hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. Am I trying to escape from this into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, protecting myself from dissatisfaction and lack of appreciation.(bisjad...bisjad juga)

My actual problem # 2...
The needs to protect myself against my tendency to be too trusting, as I find it is liable to be misunderstood or exploited by others. I therefore seek a relationship providing peaceful and understanding intimacy, and in which each knows exactly where the other stands. (So true....! honesty is debes gitu lho.)

Want to know about you ? Take ColorQuiz

Ouch !

Ouchmost often sleepless
when reality fled
the hidden beauty in sadness
is the "missing you" unsaid

damn the plaster
it's only first aid
i'll make it all better
without the bandage

Image: Ouch! tin can plaster. Available at Aksara Book Store. Product by Worldwide Co.

Mid - Night Train: Destination Los Orgasmos

Los_orgasmos_1 The figure stood there in the dark half illuminated by the lamp clock coming from the access ramp. Its long figure stretch out in the night in a stand still yet fervently awaited a charge of energy that produced some mechanical thrust of solid throbbing piston like movement that will take it to reach an excited destination.

Once in a while there were hissing sounds of breathless grunt that came from the pulsating broiler working over time. The steady flow of energy produced sent a wave of heat throughout the complex blood veins like maze and added the thick humidity already hanging in the damp and sticky air.

The figure appeared to stretch further as the hissing sounds exhaled a rush of excess heat like warm breath cutting through a cold winter air. As it stretched and vibrate the figure came to life when the unseen force within created motion at slow steady pace. It was as if the slow burning coal from the broiler commanded all the mechanical muscles to moved action and in reaction with such perfect precision.

As the pace increased the scent of wet and slippery lubrication from inside the axis grew stronger while clatter of motions grew louder and faster in orchestra – like harmony echoing the combustion of more heat breathing into the night.

Fully charged motion at steady pace was moving with yet unknown destination but with controlled precision as if it was afraid to lose the power that would break the already perfect mechanical movement. Working in deep intimacy with one another, every mechanical muscles and its counter – part explored the crucial spot of every protruding parts to discover multiple height of momentums as the motion raced with time.

Traveling through this seemingly unending journey the momentum reached certain new height gestured by a floating like bursting explosion that caused the motion to slowly relax and finally arrived at a complete halt.

The figure again turned into a stand still while letting out last excess of hot steams into the night. With its now well lubricated axis the figure approached a silence station with its empty benches.

The dark cold night once more accompanied the now lone figure staring at another lamp clock eagerly awaiting its next embarkation with anticipation of yet another breathtaking destination.

Picture sources:
Train - SORE's debut album "Centralismo" cover design by Mayumi Haryoto
Woman and Clock - Louis Vitton Print Ad (source N/A)

In The Mood For Love

ItmlChinese noodle place in a narrow alley walkway. Rainy days. It's Hong Kong in the 60's filled with retro feeling represented by big Siemens wall clock, Japanese rice cooker, vaselined slick hair and a sensual body - hugging Cheongsam/Qipao dress. To borrow a phrase from one of the film reviews this movie is a "Literary Vision" which to my interpretation is like a composition of beautiful sentences and old photographs combined together forming a moving visions which that is distinctively a Won Kar-Wai's cool, hip and artistic style of movie making. His composition of the retro icons mixed with  a list of soundtracks consisting a numbers of Nat King Cole's Spanish songs and an Indonesian classic masterpiece "Bengawan Solo" as the backdrop has succesfully transfered us back to the dream and nostalgic time.

The story is about a married man Chow Mo-wan (Tony Leung) and a married woman Su Li-zhen (Maggie Cheung) who moved to an apartments next to each other on the same day. This mellow - drama between the two developed when they both discovered that their respective spouses were involved in a torrid affair with each other (this was hinted mostly off-screen as these characters were never really shown in the film). Leung and Cheung then fell in love with each other and formed a relationship of restrained love bounded by ethics and moral principles. This uncertain affair which seems to exist the fleeting moment in time has an air of sadness and consolation over the betrayal they felt from their spouses mixed with a lot of ambiguities about the extend of their plutonic relationship whether it was about the sharing of feelings, love, and sexual desires. Did they eventually slept together?. These are the abstractions of the plot which Wong Kar-Wai has build around a romantic athmosphere and characterization illustrated through a kind of mind - game narrative, settings, wardrobe and color.

Bookpg2 It is a movie of "dream time" and melodrama mood. The acting of Tony Leung and the sensual Maggie Cheung in her Cheongsam provide a portrayal of restraint love from the fight between emotional desires and moral principles and society's norms. These mood of loves between them were shown like a painted canvas of wet alley street, steak dinner, a seedy hotel room, duck noodles vendor in Singapore, and an anti-climax ending in Angkor Wat temple in Cambodia.

Filmography:
In The Mood For Love (Hua Yang Nian Hua). Written and directed by Wong Kar-Wai. Starring Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung. Block 2 Pictures, Inc (2000). Cannes 2000 Award.

têtê - bêche: A Wong Kar-Wai Project

In_the_mood_for_love Picture taken from a 300 pages of visual images from Wong Kar - Wai's movie In The Mood For Love (Block2 Pictures Inc, year 2000. Starring Tony Leung & Maggie Cheung. Directed and written by Wong Kar - Wai). Read also the movie review.

Picture source: http://www.wkw-inthemoodforlove.com/eng/livingRoom/bookPg6.asp

Born Crying, Die Smiling

between birth and death - not necessarily in this order.

purity, innocence, curiosity, absorbing, growing, learning, playing, responsibility, vanity, attraction, lust, greed, ambition, sex, confusion, ambiguity, arrogancy, humility, pleasure, insecurity, wealth, poverty, sophistication, happiness, sorrow, cultural, creativity, confidence, shallowness, romance, love, hatred, sickness, family, lies, betrayal, friendship, sensitivity, tolerance, ignorance, repentance, spiritual, faithfullness, peacefullness, death.

Congrats to the new dad, Agus Makkie and his Baby Born Crying Rahzel Zigha Nabiya. Enjoy fatherhood dude. Good luck !